You Know Youre From Miami When

You know you're from Miami when ↓

you call flip-flops chancletas

you wear chancletas EVERY fuckn WHERE

you live 15 minutes from the beach, but you never go

the car behind you honks their horn because you stopped at a red light

you live across or minutes away from a public park

you get mad if the DJ doesn't play salsa, meringue, bachata, or reggaeton at a party

you buy your party food at Blue Sky

you take pictures at a bday party with the parties,cake and croquetas for the family in CUBA

you refer to your hometown as mayeyo/​305/​dade

you know you can't get a job without speaking Spanish

you know you can't really get anywhere without speaking Spanish

you only go to a Marlins, Heat, or Dolphins game if they're on a winning streak

you instinctively buy gallons of water during hurricane season, just in case

you hope for a hurricane to come so you don't have to go to work/school

you know only tourists go clubbing on South Beach

you spend your summer days inside cuz it's hot as hell outside.​.​.​literally

you're so used to craziness that very few things surprise you anymore

you want to move the hell out of miami and never come back

you know never to buy mangoes or avocados at a grocery store cuz u grow them in your backyard

you go to a store/business and the manager tells you "ehh piki pani?" cuz they barely can speak english

you know allll the kinds of pastelitos (heck yeah!)

you know that Argentineans make the best steak for the best prices

you bump into Trick Daddy and Pitbull and everywhere ,

you think the Westland mall is the ghettoest of all the malls

you know to be out of Downtown by 6 pm

you have to wait 4 hours for a bus to come that's supposed to come by ever y 30 minutes

it's 60 degrees outside and you wear a sweater, a jacket, gloves, a scarf, a hat, and boots

you know the only time there's no traffic on the Palmetto is from 1-5 AM!

you know at least one person who has more than six people living in their houses

your neighbor keeps chickens and goats in their back yard, and you're always worried you'll find one of them dead on your doorstep

when fckn viejas keep foil paper in theyre windows

you go to Hme Depot 4 hours before hurricane Jenna arrives

you know the only hills are trash hills

you see reffs walking around with white socks and hats that say USA with the american flag n shit

the only rivers you've seen are the Miami River and canals

you know any woman walking around after dark on Flagler or Biscayne is a prostitute

you own a guayabera or know what one is

you dont go to Calle Ocho anymore

you see the fake rooster statues in every corner off calle 8

you take your car to go one block down the street

you atleast made the line to see Celia Cruz' body when she died, and neva saw shit

you buy mamoncillos & limes while waiting in traffic

when a a light lunch consists of chicharrones and malta Hatuey

you see every 3 houses there's a Lonchero TRUCK!

when you call SW " Sawesera"

you get your chicken from Pollo Tropical

your shrimp, lobster, and designer purses all come from one place: some guy's trunk in Hialeah

you see girls wearing clubbing clothes to go to 7-11

there's a sedanoson every corner

you know you NEED to buy a lock at Auto zone for your custome rims

you have to put on the invitations "starts at 2:30pm " when the event really starts at 6:00pm just so people actually get there on time. (lol you know thats true)